denying our existence

2nd year anniversary is approaching and people are hounding us when we will have a child. I mean cmon having one is awesome but I believe it's not an overnighter to decide when.  However, over the 2 years we had been together, we have decided on "how many".

drumrollll....

We want to have an only child!!!

A sole heir to our future million dollar estates (lol I wish!).  I mean one is good and awesome enough. One child will already be like hitting a jackpot.

BUT!!! both of us are the second sibling. We even laughed at how our parents were probably disappointed with our sexes. He is a male after a male 1st born and I am a female after my older sister. Noel even said, "ah that's why you look like a boy". Well thank you, if I look like a boy, well there's something going on about your sexual preference (haha. our jokes are crazy).

We concluded how each of us might not be existing if our parents chose to have an only child haha.

Well both of us are too sane to just relax, enjoy life, and enjoy each other. I really wanna worry about it 10 years from now but I'm getting older! I really want to have one but I still want a few more years to just chill and relax. 

now watching: The American Psycho.

let's see! looks exciting. '90s music is so on.

new feat/fear

We bought a laptop and a TV. The catch is, it is just 3 days apart! It was a feat! It was possible for us to buy both of them months ago but delayed gratification made the purchases more special.

My ancient laptop of 6 years was my 1st big purchase ever. It was bittersweet when it finally gave up on me. It slowly started to slow down and be a complete nuisance, however, it is worth a lot of sentiments. I bought it during my adjustment period as a first timer in overseas away from friends, family and comfort zone. It had been a great companion in a lot of lonely times. That laptop helped me breeze a lot of failed recipes, do-it-yourself hacks,  and of course career-related things.

A new era has passed by really. Gone is my roaring 20s. Now I'm in my 30s living in Europe, and highly aware how different I already am with my younger colleagues. All of this with a new laptop, a new tool for more adult related questions and transactions (hopefully). I'm just triggered.


Now comes fear. Was it too much for 3 days?!?!! I am at a constant fear of overspending and I can't help but overthink if we really deserve those two expensive things in such a short period of time. My husband is a c'est la vie kind of person. He is yet to surpass his purchasing satiety. I've done enough over-shopping back in Dubai. I'm telling you I do regret some of my expensive purchases as they end up unused and donated. I am the calculator of the house. I budget and I balance. We are a tag team. A spoiler and a purchase insulter. I do really criticize a lot of our wants. I tried my best to align him with his business and budget. I really hope I'm doing it right.


O well. that's it. haha we really need to cook home cooked meals more.