A patient of mine, a CEO of a multinational IT corporation, told me that he regrets that he did not travel as much when he was younger. He said he was always traveling around but not touring around. He lacked the adventure in every flight he took in numerous countries. He was so overworked.

I just realized that health is such a big human equalizer. I hope we all try to make the best of what physical body given to us. I need to stop eating crisps. 

control

I am a control freak. I'm scared that if my timeline on things doesn't get followed, it is over! My life will be a mess and I will die poor or sad or combined and it's game over!!! 😞

Opportunities can be a headache too! The more path that promises greener future you have, the crazier it gets. What if I am happy now and I screw up our future if I'll commit and try????! My age is not helping a lot too! Apart from my egg cells reserves, I am at the stage in my life that I want to stay and blossom in a place that I will choose. I am praying to God that I am not making any mistakes and my jump is for the better. I don't go to church anymore. I am also not as prayerful. Maybe this is why I am not at peace! My mental and physical health is suffering because I lack spirituality. I am insomniac and I've been eating a lot of Weetabix to compensate the hollow feeling I have in my gut. I am looking for something somewhere. I am just scared that it is just right here and I just don't appreciate it.

It's a bit therapeutic when I write it down like this. It helps that the letters and paper are in contrast--black and white. But life has a lot of colors, periwinkle, salmon, coral, not just grey baby!! I hope you get the pun people! I am very happy now, but will I be happier somewhere else?

urgh. I don't know how to answer it btw.... so help me God.




xoxo

gwen the confused 32 years old (haha-huhu).