May this season be a happy moment to y'all. I hope we keep loads of snippets of good memory with self, family, and friends that we can treasure for the rest of our lives.
<3 Gwen
Sunday, 16 December 2018
Thursday, 15 November 2018
dream
I dream to write essays my future self will approve, appreciate, and be proud of. How will it happen when I always start writing, then stop, then start again.... It is frustrating how I procrastinate on a lot of things. I'm at my ripe age of 31. I do feel I'm not accomplishing a lot of things in life yet.
Monday, 22 October 2018
denying our existence
2nd year anniversary is approaching and people are hounding us when we will have a child. I mean cmon having one is awesome but I believe it's not an overnighter to decide when. However, over the 2 years we had been together, we have decided on "how many".
drumrollll....
drumrollll....
We want to have an only child!!!
A sole heir to our future million dollar estates (lol I wish!). I mean one is good and awesome enough. One child will already be like hitting a jackpot.
BUT!!! both of us are the second sibling. We even laughed at how our parents were probably disappointed with our sexes. He is a male after a male 1st born and I am a female after my older sister. Noel even said, "ah that's why you look like a boy". Well thank you, if I look like a boy, well there's something going on about your sexual preference (haha. our jokes are crazy).
We concluded how each of us might not be existing if our parents chose to have an only child haha.
Well both of us are too sane to just relax, enjoy life, and enjoy each other. I really wanna worry about it 10 years from now but I'm getting older! I really want to have one but I still want a few more years to just chill and relax.
A sole heir to our future million dollar estates (lol I wish!). I mean one is good and awesome enough. One child will already be like hitting a jackpot.
BUT!!! both of us are the second sibling. We even laughed at how our parents were probably disappointed with our sexes. He is a male after a male 1st born and I am a female after my older sister. Noel even said, "ah that's why you look like a boy". Well thank you, if I look like a boy, well there's something going on about your sexual preference (haha. our jokes are crazy).
We concluded how each of us might not be existing if our parents chose to have an only child haha.
Well both of us are too sane to just relax, enjoy life, and enjoy each other. I really wanna worry about it 10 years from now but I'm getting older! I really want to have one but I still want a few more years to just chill and relax.
Thursday, 18 October 2018
Tuesday, 9 October 2018
new feat/fear
We bought a laptop and a TV. The catch is, it is just 3 days apart! It was a feat! It was possible for us to buy both of them months ago but delayed gratification made the purchases more special.
My ancient laptop of 6 years was my 1st big purchase ever. It was bittersweet when it finally gave up on me. It slowly started to slow down and be a complete nuisance, however, it is worth a lot of sentiments. I bought it during my adjustment period as a first timer in overseas away from friends, family and comfort zone. It had been a great companion in a lot of lonely times. That laptop helped me breeze a lot of failed recipes, do-it-yourself hacks, and of course career-related things.
A new era has passed by really. Gone is my roaring 20s. Now I'm in my 30s living in Europe, and highly aware how different I already am with my younger colleagues. All of this with a new laptop, a new tool for more adult related questions and transactions (hopefully). I'm just triggered.
Now comes fear. Was it too much for 3 days?!?!! I am at a constant fear of overspending and I can't help but overthink if we really deserve those two expensive things in such a short period of time. My husband is a c'est la vie kind of person. He is yet to surpass his purchasing satiety. I've done enough over-shopping back in Dubai. I'm telling you I do regret some of my expensive purchases as they end up unused and donated. I am the calculator of the house. I budget and I balance. We are a tag team. A spoiler and a purchase insulter. I do really criticize a lot of our wants. I tried my best to align him with his business and budget. I really hope I'm doing it right.
O well. that's it. haha we really need to cook home cooked meals more.
My ancient laptop of 6 years was my 1st big purchase ever. It was bittersweet when it finally gave up on me. It slowly started to slow down and be a complete nuisance, however, it is worth a lot of sentiments. I bought it during my adjustment period as a first timer in overseas away from friends, family and comfort zone. It had been a great companion in a lot of lonely times. That laptop helped me breeze a lot of failed recipes, do-it-yourself hacks, and of course career-related things.
A new era has passed by really. Gone is my roaring 20s. Now I'm in my 30s living in Europe, and highly aware how different I already am with my younger colleagues. All of this with a new laptop, a new tool for more adult related questions and transactions (hopefully). I'm just triggered.
Now comes fear. Was it too much for 3 days?!?!! I am at a constant fear of overspending and I can't help but overthink if we really deserve those two expensive things in such a short period of time. My husband is a c'est la vie kind of person. He is yet to surpass his purchasing satiety. I've done enough over-shopping back in Dubai. I'm telling you I do regret some of my expensive purchases as they end up unused and donated. I am the calculator of the house. I budget and I balance. We are a tag team. A spoiler and a purchase insulter. I do really criticize a lot of our wants. I tried my best to align him with his business and budget. I really hope I'm doing it right.
O well. that's it. haha we really need to cook home cooked meals more.
Wednesday, 18 July 2018
brain fog, hormonal imbalance, and turning 21.. ooops no 31... :)
My only symptom was that my period came regularly but massively. The hypochondriac in me wanted to know what was wrong. I bravely went to a gynecologist in Dubai and there the doctor found a shining and bouncy.... 4 by 4 cm left ovarian cyst via ultrasound (nope not a baby). I immediately shopped doctors for treatment and opinions. Of course, I panicked and I wanted the problem to be gone ASAP. I then consulted with a gyne surgeon in Dubai and she said I am for surgery. The cyst needs to be removed. A lot of things bothered me and the invasiveness of the procedure is on the top. My parents, Noel and my friends shared my anxiety and all adviced me to get a third opinion in the Philippines.
My doctor in the Philippines is a bit more conservative. She prescribed me hormone pills to be taken daily without any placebo/pauses. Thinking it was better than the keyhole surgery, I opted to take it. I was on pills for almost a year when I observed that my memory slowly deteriorated. My decision making was more of whims than practicality. I felt robotic and unemotional as there was no hormonal fluctuation and PMS happening monthly. It was very scary because I am very new here in Dublin at that time. I was undergoing my clinical adaptation. I studied twice even thrice harder because I can't remember anything. Nothing, not even my patient's name retained in my brain. I felt so powerless. I thought I was having a premature Alzheimer's brewing.
I did a lot of research and I discovered that a lot of females experienced brain fog symptoms because of the big culprit.. the pill. I am not alone and it felt reassuring. Well, after one year of the daily pill, my ovarian cyst was still the same size. My doctor here in Dublin said that the pill will just mask the symptoms I had pre-pill (the massive period) and it is no cure for the type of cyst that i have. Although my cyst did not grow which is still a good news after all, it will still need surgical removal more sooner than later as advised.
I will be turning 31 in a few days. I feel healthier than ever especially after stopping the pill. My memory is starting to re-surface once again ( thank you Lord!). My bloatedness is dissipating by the day. I feel more emotions once again and I am getting back to the old Gwen people love and hate hehe.
My 30 years of existence had such a huge impact on me. It was full of triumphs, failures, brain fogs, health-scares, and love. I'm just glad now that I am feeling more and more alive to experience my soon to 31st year better. Now, I'm buckling up for the next ride. I have faith that everything will all soon be well. Cheers to me and to my impending 30 and 1 year of existence.
My doctor in the Philippines is a bit more conservative. She prescribed me hormone pills to be taken daily without any placebo/pauses. Thinking it was better than the keyhole surgery, I opted to take it. I was on pills for almost a year when I observed that my memory slowly deteriorated. My decision making was more of whims than practicality. I felt robotic and unemotional as there was no hormonal fluctuation and PMS happening monthly. It was very scary because I am very new here in Dublin at that time. I was undergoing my clinical adaptation. I studied twice even thrice harder because I can't remember anything. Nothing, not even my patient's name retained in my brain. I felt so powerless. I thought I was having a premature Alzheimer's brewing.
I did a lot of research and I discovered that a lot of females experienced brain fog symptoms because of the big culprit.. the pill. I am not alone and it felt reassuring. Well, after one year of the daily pill, my ovarian cyst was still the same size. My doctor here in Dublin said that the pill will just mask the symptoms I had pre-pill (the massive period) and it is no cure for the type of cyst that i have. Although my cyst did not grow which is still a good news after all, it will still need surgical removal more sooner than later as advised.
I will be turning 31 in a few days. I feel healthier than ever especially after stopping the pill. My memory is starting to re-surface once again ( thank you Lord!). My bloatedness is dissipating by the day. I feel more emotions once again and I am getting back to the old Gwen people love and hate hehe.
My 30 years of existence had such a huge impact on me. It was full of triumphs, failures, brain fogs, health-scares, and love. I'm just glad now that I am feeling more and more alive to experience my soon to 31st year better. Now, I'm buckling up for the next ride. I have faith that everything will all soon be well. Cheers to me and to my impending 30 and 1 year of existence.
Monday, 11 June 2018
simple goals for madam gwen
Goals:
1. sleep early
2. create art/something
3. mindfulness
4. gain the wisdom for life-changing decisions
Thursday, 5 April 2018
Random thoughts
1. I just bought 4 new lip and cheek tint from Body Shop. I felt nostagic. I remember how I saved up all my "baon" just to have one every year when I was in HS and college. I'm very thankful that I have a job that pays and I studied really hard haha.
2. TAX. Why?
3. FATS. Why?
4. Happy wife happy life is such a sexist statement. But it is in my favor so why not?
5. I'm hoovering+mopping loads of hair in my apartment. I think all are mine (because of the observed length and color). There's no change in my hair thickness, I don't have bald spots anywhere. I think the floor is growing its own hair.
2. TAX. Why?
3. FATS. Why?
4. Happy wife happy life is such a sexist statement. But it is in my favor so why not?
5. I'm hoovering+mopping loads of hair in my apartment. I think all are mine (because of the observed length and color). There's no change in my hair thickness, I don't have bald spots anywhere. I think the floor is growing its own hair.
Monday, 2 April 2018
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