Reading

Im now reading The Origin by Dan Brown. Im just transfixed on how the new adventure of Robert Langdon (a genius I will always be rooting for) unfolds with every paragraph.

Dan Brown just talks to you in this book. I just cant wait for the mysteries to be unveiled. ♡♡♡

Waking up 330 am

It is one great cheat in life. I'm enjoying waking up earlier than other people and it's so fulfilling that I've accomplished all the household tasks before 10am. A bonus is that I usually go to the gym for my 7am morning class.

In mid-mornings it is all about errands in the grocery/ calls in the 9 to 5 offices. It is amazing to wake up early.

Hope I can keep up with this lifestyle despite my duties. I hope ill do more in my life!!

Xoxo
Gwen.

Away is where I belong. IRELAND IS NOW MY HOME.

nw notting hill. making me cry now...

update... update

My friend Jill came from the states with her beau Mike. Jill for a little background is a cardiac nurse practitioner from America and Mike manages their family-owned rehab business. both hailing from California, they have this grit and self-confidence that most fil-ams have.

Together with my Dublin friends Jo and Ling, we had a yummy dinner in Skinflint. It is a pizza place in Temple bar which is very handy because jill and mike's hotel is in the area. Aside from naming their pizza's with girly names, Skinflint's crust is thin and crispy. their flavor is not complex and they got this spicy honey that's a perfect dupe for hot sauce.

as usual, I have a little mishap. I accidentally placed a spoon of the spicy honey in my hyper sour lemonade thinking it will just sweeten it a bit. thankfully, jo stopped me from adding another scoop of the honey. and another thing to thank for is my lemonade was unaffected with the spicy honey. it remained awfully sour haha.

we had a nice time pub crawling immediately after our nice dinner. I had Balmer's apple cider (my usual) before dinner, another apple cider of different brand in a pub next to the Christ Church, and finally, a strawberry cider which has a very hot pink hue. too bad I forgot the brand of the cider but it is just so yummy and juicy. I hate bitter beers so I'm happy with my lowkey choices... weakling girly choices haha. some bars here in Ireland don't serve cocktails so beer it was all for me all throughout. I'm just sadly calculating all the calories I took because, after our mini crawl, we ended in McDonald's. I had some cheese and herbs balls and a chocolate donut to close the night. Intense carbo loading huhu.

I am still mourning over my calorie/sugar intake yesterday. My consolation is that I had a lot of fun memories with my homies! nice to see Jill and mike again. and it is nice to talk about careers when tipsy (hi ling and jo!!!)

it is noel's bar exam today. it is handy that I had a chance to ease my nerves with alcohol and friends yesterday. I am too proud of my husband. <3  my best husband ever.


ps: well... yep. wives can drink too..... in eradicating the idea of wives being a stay at home, knitting bonnets, and cooking dinners. there's more to life than vacuuming LOL.

obsessed with happiness

facebook, Instagram, snapchat and other social media are all somewhat portraying the "happy" part of our lives. we scrutinize our best glorious shots, tweak and edit it then weigh its likeability from minutes of reflection after we finally click the post button. it is nice to spread positivity.  however, there are some cons in our addiction to social media. Humanity is now happiness obsessed. Strong words but social media deceives us that happiness is the default mode of being alive.

I post sparsely nowadays because I feel that having the secret private happiness soothes the soul. it is by being there, at that moment and not struggling to document it makes me more present. it is as if I'm maxing out my time and life. the experience becomes very organic when I'm not asking for likes and kind comments. I guess adulthood prodded me to the conclusion that living should not be centralized in other people's approval.

it is scary to be sad. it is highly traumatizing to be depressed. but life is a rollercoaster and it is supposed to happen. it is just nice to be more focused on the people who will pick you up in these moments rather than the virtual likers and commenters who don't even give a damn when something bad happens. well, I believe each one of us is struggling. life is not a paradise and my faith says after all of these will be peace if we just do life correctly (I'm Catholic and I believe in Him and in Jesus). it's Sunday and I'm free to be preachy :)

I'm 30 and statistically, I got about 50 years or less to live. I hope I can accomplish more good things in my existence than getting 100 likes for a picture. I pray that in my remaining time, I get to be with people who will make me live more. happy, sad, or neutral, it is great to be always purposely focused on the people/things that matter. o well, there, there, it is human to be sad. life will soothe us back to happiness and time will always be an ally in the end because change.... is and will always be CONSTANT.

adding up with our obsession to be "happy" is our obsession to be "liked". on a personal note I can say I am never a likable person and never was. it is a constant struggle that I'm dealing with all the time. life taught me that faking it will just lead me to personal unhappiness (will discuss this soon haha). I am me and I love who I am. staying true means the people who like me authentically loves me and my ways. well, if you don't like my personality, as long as I don't hurt you or cause you any pain, let it go and just live your life. however, this doesn't mean I don't have room for improvement despite my i-don't-give-f*ck attitude is a very much conscious and self-aware Gwen. it is once an insecurity that I am not well loved by a lot of people but, I learned to make it as my strength. I deviated my focus on cherishing the people who tried to know me fully and liked who i really am. therefore, I got few real likers in real life haha. few they may be, I vow to protect and back each one of these weird precious creatures with my life. few... but quality ;)

Conclusion haha: oh life! adulthood is really hard and this generation gave way to technological advancements that weaken our souls a bit. however, I know that humanity adjusts and adapts. we got this... 

30th

I am a known dramatic, ecstatic, masayahin person and it amplifies times 100 whenever I'm celebrating my birthday.

What happened:
1.my husband's package came. he gave me a new gadget. A Google Home! He really knows I need a companion here in Dublin.
2. Ian my BFF and I spent July 25th in a salon. He went with me to buy a printer (same as what I have in Dubai) and we capped the day with Raspberry Mocha drink from Squires (a cafe in front of The Spire)
3. Spent my actual birthday with Joheart, my BFF number 1 here in Dublin. We were from the same batch of nurses from Dubai. He helped me a lot with the gruesome process of application for Dublin. We ate in a rooftop restaurant in Hardcourt in town. Super nice!!
4. Bought new clothes!!!
5. ate spaghetti (bolognese, sadly not my mom's spag), pizza with special cheese ang sarap!, and Magnum ice cream. Birthday...complete <3

so there you go. my 30th birthday. :)

so being emo as I am, I am currently reflecting where am I really in this universe... oops let's minimize it up to my present existence. masyado malaki yun universe. where am i really in my life. 30 years to look back. ang daming days, minutes and seconds na noon. am i serving my purpose in this lifetime? am I really in a correct path? am I really for nursing? o diba 8 years of practice, I'm still questioning that one.

30 and I'm sooo sooo grateful. I'm thankful that God saves me all the time. I have the best people to back me up. I have the best family in the world. I'm the happiest child but I was throwing tantrums all the time pa din dati (really, I cant get my self even now haha). I have the best husband on the planet earth. And, I got few cool friends but really QUALITY ones.

I realized now that
1. we cant live alone, no matter how introvert I am, I need a few skype session to maintain my sanity.
2. we need to choose well. we should never allow ourselves to be trapped by other people who have internal motives.
3. nobody gets killed by hard work... sabi ng masahista kanina. but I did give her the pun that the only person who will get killed is the one working too hard hehe
4. take care of the self. if comfort can be bought, buy it...
5.  LOVE MORE!!! tell it to be more often. coz life is fleeting. I still remember blowing my 10th-year bday cake... now i am 30...

as you see, it is not all about the achievements, how much money we make, and promotions/career. it all boils down to being happy with one's personal life.

wishes:
1. have more friends outside of work
2. be physically fit
3. learn more new things
4. keep my loved ones with me for the longest time
5. be closer to the people i love.

Do crazy things that scare you 

rain

after a week of sun, here comes the rain. i welcomed it with a little tampo in my heart. why is the summer so near yet so far in dublin? it just rained and rained... and rained non stop today.

it was too warm yesterday, and yeah i missed some cold which makes me think im becoming more and more of a Scandinavian hehhe feeling (i am super asian btw). how timely the rain came during my off  (pun because in reality i was set to go to a park today huhu). i went out and braved the outside world with an umbrella and waterproof jacket.  i was rotting on my bed doing nothing. I needed to get out to enjoy my off plus i needed to buy milk hehe. anyway, going out protects my sanity. i cant be too emo or else ill buy a ticket to the philippines to see and hug my husband. hehehe nako magastos yun.

the rain always gives me a nostalgic and dramatic effect. it just stirs sad and happy memories. i suddenly smelled my nursery school where we planted pechay for an experiment. i was also transported in our quiet rainy afternoon nap time with my family in cavite.drops of rain on my face made me remember the sad burial day of my inang. on a happier note, yeah it brings me back to my birthdays. everytime, my parties were plagued with typhoons. i wasnt popular in school and mas tragic ay mas lalo pa ako nawawalan ng guests because of the heavy pouring raaaain.

hay emo day. i am just wishing to create more wonderful memories with my lovedones. i want to have more memories with noel under the rain. though we have a lot already, like the rain during our jog in dubai and how noel braved the typhoon just to attend my family lunch birthday party in Mongkok (a restaurant, not in HK hehe) during our first year together. he surprised me with macky and marielle in tow and he hid the accident that  happend in the highway wherein cars jumped off a the expressway daw because the roads was too slippery because of the rain(#goodtimes). one day, we will alll be together again... :) i am hypermissing him and my fam so so so much.

butchers to save the day

eating out is always expensive anywhere except in the Philippines. cooking is always the best option to be healthier and richer haha. I'm not trained to cook my own food. my mom tried but one hot day, my sister collapsed because of hypoglycemia after chopping sayote haha . after that my mom stopped teaching us. my mom spoiled us with great food with just one promise, study well.  mommy I did, I did! haha but wala, I never learned how to cook when I was in the Philippines. when I went abroad, I was forced to. I believe it is too essential for anyone outside the Philippines to learn. I believe that cooking is not only a talent, it is one mode to exist and be a healthy individual.

in Dubai, my health plummeted to its worst. I had a one week of strep throat infection, multiple flu, severe vitamin d deficiency, asthma attack, irritable bowel syndrome (self-diagnosed haha) and it was my first time to experience extreme laryngitis. no voice was coming out of my pipes for days. I got really scared I'll be mute and ill need to file for sudden disability. hehe oa.

all my "diseases" were because of my bad diet. I ate Cheetos and KitKat for dinner. hehe, puro junk foods and sweets. no real protein, fruits and etc. I didn't like cooking so I took out all of my lunch and dinners. hay, I realized how fortunate I am to have a mom who cooks. in Dubai, in always hungry. I get healthily fed when sanirae my friend cooks or I take out gulay.

Currently, in Ireland, I'm fortunate to have a kitchen of my own. somewhat mine. haha 4 of us share the kitchen. the ratio 1:4 is extremely better than a kitchen vs 15 people sharing it in Dubai. I feel healthier, plumper huhu, but happier. I eat good food here...

moral story:
1. eat real food. you may be full because of snacks/chips/chocolates. but you are definitely malnourished and sugar high. it will reflect on your health by being weak and sick all the time.
2, learn to cook basic things. you will survive the real world! <3

sunday 7/5/17

What that I did in the past 12 hours:

1. Had a haircut. Micro hairs were removed from my head. result: 35 euros. huhuh I promise to maintain this hair til I go home to the Philippines.
2. 18 degrees in Dublin. I basked under the sun while lying on my bed. I put my mismatched two-piece on to delight myself even more. heheh
3. had lunch in Nando's. Because Nando's  is always love! My hospital ID has the power to reduce 20% from my bill every time. hehe hurray.
4. my sciatic pain is back :( huhu
5. had a chill time in McCafe Dublin.The apple pie was the bomb. bits and pieces tasted so fresh.


Meanwhile, during my glorious long time of stay in the coffee shop, two beautiful elder ladies sat near my table while i was people watching. both ladies were flying solo, and like me, they enjoyed their coffee and croissants in an unhurried manner (yep they ordered the same stuff hahaha). one had a colorful little journal in tow. She didn't have any phone with her. she was jotting on her little notebook having her own world. I'm imagining how slow her time could be. no phones, no gadgets.

the other lady was wearing a big ring with tiny diamonds in it. her manicure was without a single chip and her hair had no strand out of place.  she took time chewing her croissant. no sound can be heard from her. even a clink of her cup was subdued. too prim and proper!

the first gorgeous lady went ahead of me. she smiled at me before leaving and I smiled back. she slowly maneuvered herself into the crowd. she had a direction though. she isn't confused like some of my patients in the hospital. she was alone but she didn't appear lost. her posture was still impeccable while sifting her way home or somewhere else.

 the whole time, I'm wishing she just needed time alone from her makulit husband who nags her to watch his favorite shows. I do wish that she has a lot of grandchildren hugging her before she goes to sleep. I wish that loads of her time are filled with love and happiness.

as for the second lady, I left before she finished her cup of coffee. I do wish her life is grand. I hope that with all her classy material possessions, she is happy and contented.

I will be old someday. it is so nice to age gracefully. I wish I'll have the chance of wanting a time out from an octogenarian noel if he nags me to watch his boring Netflix shows. I wish to be as sophisticated as those ladies too. they were so well maintained! haha.

 I may be alone here in Dublin but I extremely hope my whole life ahead of me will be with Noel in it hugging me all the time.

2 days off and the scare of being a NURSE.

I passed the adaptation. Here we go real world of  Irish version of ICU!
May it not be bitter and ugly.
I hope I can make it fun and challenging.

how to pronounce these words crash course:

1. Aiofe (girl's name)- eefah (papaano)

2. Celtic- KELTIC

3. Oesophageal= esophageal PS CCU staff their (TEE is TOE hahah kakatawa diba)

4. Hybreasal- Hy-bra-sal

5. St Audoen- St Od'n

anxiety

I'll record my anxiety here

Being new is stressful. I want to do better in the future. Daily, I want to learn more and be a better and safer nurse.

I just want to be nicer to the future new nurses. I will be a senior in few years and I extremely want to be helpful, nicer? Maybe a bit more understanding.

It is hard. But I know I can make it.

I need to.

I hope.

I will.

things to learn

1. how tax works
2. how pensions works
3. how to get my husband ASAP ( # 3 coz i know na how nagiinarte lang ako)
4. how to bank to bank transfer in a snap
5. how to get my emergency tax deducted back !!


too tired today :(

NURSING IS DIFFERENT EVERYWHERE

I bet other professions are deliberately different from each country well it is the same as nursing. Nursing in EU, Middle East, and South East Asia are way different from each other. Roles and responsibilities, policies and procedures, materials used, communication barriers, temper, ETC ETC. Nakakahilo, pero ganon talaga :)

Here comes the adaptation phase.I am currently on my week 5 of adaptation in a big hospital here in Dublin. It gets me familiarized with what the hell is going on in my unit and how to act/react, prepare, and deal with patients, family, doctors, physiotherapist Etc etc. It gives me the feel of how to be a nurse with a preceptor who will supervise me if I am capable of the job in the ICU.

It is nerve-wrecking and scary. You really will feel stupid on many things. From medication to preparation of a patient for tracheostomy, there are a lot of things to consider. There are resources mind you, but a tough day is a tough day. I will be held responsible for all my actions after my adaptation finishes. OMG OMG!

Well, how different is different? example lang to.In the Philippines, we dilute our noradrenaline in 250 ml of normal saline. In the UAE we do it in a syringe. We usually place 8mg of noradrenaline in 50 ml D5W. Normal saline is not a choice to dilute noradrenaline as their compatibility is questionable. In Ireland, we are using 2:1 mcg ratio. We dilute 6mg of noradrenaline in 50ml of D5W. This is their double concentration. It can make you flip really. There is an online formulary but how tough it can be to browse it in a very busy day huhu. Familiarization, familiarization!!!!

Adaptation is a phase of nurses to just observe and know the multiple difference of practices from the previous workplace. There will be no exams, however, there are reflection papers, case studies, presentations, competencies, and subjective observation from the unit's educators/seniors.  Our absorption is in the hands of preceptors and seniors who checks out how capable we are in dealing with all of the stress.

After my adaptation ends, I can get my critical skills visa, I'll get more stable and I'll have an opportunity to bring my family here. So yeah! I'm hopeful! <3 I really hope to pass. I really hope to be a safe nurse. Praying, hoping, believing and DOING.

times 4

Update! Update!.... :)

Money:
My perspective about Euros is always times 4. I was in Dubai for almost 5 years and I adapted the Dirham currency. My first few days in Dubai was challenging because Philippine Peso would usually cost thousands with some purchases "MASAKIT. However, now that the value of Euros for me is times 4, it is easier but still, tough luck that my tax-free days are over. One good thing that I can compare to purchases here vs the USA is that the tax is already added to the product. I hate computing percentages.

Food:
I can't cook great food. I cook minimally just for survival. I am quite thankful that salads and fruits don't need to be heated in a pan. I suck generally on the "taste" part of cooking. I feel that all my masterpieces taste the same--- teriyaki sauce. I am in great luck that a lot of quick and easy to prepare meals can be bought in any grocery store. They ain't bad though. There's a decent steak with mashed potato and side salad costing 5 euros. But still, it will really cost less to cook. I feel safe though. There will always be a food on my table if I go hungry because of these pre-cooked/pre-prepared meals. Grocery is just a few steps from my apartment so hurray.

People:
Being here for almost 4 weeks now, I observed so much. From people being generally polite, up to their crazy Pub Fridays, Dubliners has their own culture and character. Generally, people here are really nice!

Health:
p.s I enrolled in a nearby gym costing 30 euros a month because I'm an employee of the nearest hospital (how cool is that!). Just finished yoga earlier and my back feels brand new.

I'm still doing great. I just hope I'll survive my adaptation program. Push pa more. 

Dealing with the Cold and Loneliness

Tropical girl going to an icebox.

I've lived in South East Asia my entire life and the weather is usually either warm or rainy. I transferred in UAE and it is either super hot or Baguio cold. 

I got no idea how to deal with 4 seasons. I am now trying to adapt to this type of cold weather (5-10 degrees Celsius). I know, I know, if you're a westerner, you're thinking I am overreacting. I wore a wrong type of jacket earlier and my guts jittered. You will really get sick when you are not warm enough. 

I am yet to figure out what clothing is the best for me but I observe that thin bubble jackets are largely worn by a lot of Irish people. I got a purple Columbia one and I am over-using it because it's hyper warm. I NEED A SPARE!

But I need to be careful with buying a lot of things. I need money to settle in a nice house near the hospital. I am moving with my 3 other new found friends here. I extremely hope that I will survive my adaptation in the next few weeks. WISH ME LUCK. PRAY FOR MEEEEE.

(on dealing with loneliness, I AM BLOGGING. This is quite therapeutic.)

March 12, 2017

Had time to tour central Dublin. Link below ;)




My video for my today's adventure.

Welcome

I am welcoming myself in Dublin. Hurray!! It has been ages since I blogged. I'm a long-time Wordpress fan but as "Blogger" is backed up by Google, I got attracted to trying it.

Well, hello world. I am a new staff nurse here in Dublin. I am from the Philippines, worked locally, then transferred to UAE, and now, just got hired here in Ireland.

I got my NMBI decision letter last December, had to renew my passport last January, got married to the love of my life last January 2, and arrived here March 9th, 2017. It was quite fast fixing everything from the UAE as I escaped POEA's requirements. I am a direct hire from Kate Cowhig agency (Ireland based). I've heard from my batchmates here they were hired by Abba (Philippines based agency) of which Kate Cowhig outsourced.

I'm coping well probably because I am an OFW for 4 years going 5. Commuting is easy. as there are some similarities in commuting here and in Dubai. The card top, bus stops signals, and the availability of routes and instructions by google map are pretty much the same. I got the edge, but be a techie, and google inept and you will be fine.

A difference from Dublin to Dubai commute is the multiple bus stop routes. A single bus stop here can cater 5 to 10 or more different bus routes unlike in Dubai wherein very small number of bus stops does that. Next thing is tapping the card. There is a machine in the entrance wherein you have to tell the driver where you will go and they will punch it in. The card will have a specific subtracted amount after it (I think 2 euros a trip is the average). After the punch in, there is no need to tap out. I still cling to my "Leap card" when I'm about to get out thinking of tapping out. OOOhhh there's still so much of Dubai in me.

I am also adjusting in long walks (go cardiovascular system go!), and no more spoiled taxi trips. I am just 3 days old here in Dublin but I commuted by myself and traveled to the city center alone. Of course, I'm guided by google map. Data here is cheaper than Dubai. It costs 20 euros for unlimited social + 15GB data oooh la la. I find it cheap and extremely fast!  Data cost in Dubai is more expensive.

Housing, electricity, work condition, and new adventures will be my next topics. Wish me luck dear readers. :)